MudLove
by xXGoldie12Xx
Summary: "You're arrogant." "You're beautiful." "Excuse me? Did Draco Malfoy just call me beautiful?" "No duh. Gosh, Granger, go get a q-tip and clean the earwax out of your ears so you can listen while I try and flirt with you!" A collection of Dramione one-shot
1. STHUG

**A/N: Hey, guys. Okay, I'm telling you all right now. The characters in this story will probably be very OOC. In some of the one-shots they might be more like in the books, but for one's like this one, they probably won't. This story is a collection of one-shots. Some might be humor, while others might be dramatic. It really depends. I'll update reguarly, I suppose. It should be fun. NO FLAMES! TAKE YOUR FIRE SOMEWHERE ELSE! THIS IS JUST FOR FUN, SO IF YOU DON'T THINK MY GAMMER IS PERFECT, REMEMBER THAT I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK AND RE-CHECK IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I'M ONLY DOING IT FOR _FUN_. **

**Now that we have that clarrified, I suppose I should get on with the story... =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Who really thought I did?**

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><p><em><strong><span>S.T.H.U.G.<span>**_

"Get your badges for S.P.E.W. here!" Hermione exclaimed, as she attempted to thrust a S.P.E.W. badge on a random first years cloak. He glared at her, and threw the badge across the room.

"Get your badges for S.T.H.U.G. here!" Draco Malfoy roared. Students began to form around him, grabbing for the badges.

"Malfoy! What the heck is S.T.H.U.G?"

"It's very simple really. SHUT THE HELL UP GRANGER!" Draco exclaimed. "No one gives a crap about S.P.E.W."

"DRACO!" Hermione exclaimed. "You started a foundation to get me to shut-up?"

"Yes. And everyone seems to like it too."

Hermione huffed.

"Potter! Weasley!" Draco exclaimed, grabbing two S.T.H.U.G. badges. "Care to become honorary members of S.T.H.U.G.?"

"What does it mean?" Ron asked, cautiously.

"Shut the hell up, Granger! It's a protest against S.P.E.W." Draco said.

Ron and Harry grabbed the badges and put them on their cloaks. "HARRY! RON!" Hermione exclaimed.

"What? I HATE S.P.E.W.!" Ron exclaimed.

"So you've become a member of S.T.H.U.G?"

"Yes."

"JERK! The house elves will thank me one day."

"While the house elves thank you _one day_, humans are thanking me _now." _Draco said. "Come Potter, Weasely, let us go and promote S.T.H.U.G.!"

"Hermione can't draw! Hermione can't draw! Hermione can't draw!" The three boy sang.

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><p><strong>Yes, I am a very big fan of A Very Potter Musical. =)<strong>


	2. Wrinkles

**Okay, guys, let's review once more. THIS IS JUST FOR FUN! I am not going to go through it over and over again looking fore misspelled words and such. They're just one-shots that take me about five minutes to write. The characters are VERY OOC. So ya, stop commenting and tell me that, because I ALREADY KNOW! Now, I'm not partically fond of this chapter, but I'm posting it anyway. I hope you all enjoy it. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Has anyone else ever noticed that Professor Snape has a lot of wrinkles? I was just thinking about it, you know. He was standing at the front of the classroom, and he just looked… well… <em>old.<em> Take it from a boy who has known the coot from birth. Why did Father make _him_ my godfather? Does he really want me to go live with a grandparent?

"Everybody up!" Snape yelled. My word, the wrinkles moved!

Everybody stood and Snape began moving students around. Everybody had been talking. I suppose I would have been to, if it hadn't been for the man's wrinkles. They were quite distracting, you know.

"Mr. Malfoy. Please move between Miss Granger, and Potter." He said. He sent me an apologetic look and I glared at him. He shrugged a 'what can you do?' shrug and I'm pretty sure he developed fifty more wrinkles. I got up and sat between Granger and Potter. Potter glared, but Granger just wrote in her notebook. Poor Blaise got stuck with Neville Longbottom.

Soon, class resumed, and there was nothing but dead silence. I didn't notice it. I was too busy glaring at Snape's wrinkles. I wonder if that's what makes him so foul. Every time he looks in the mirror he sees _old_.

Granger giggled next to me, as did Potter. I looked at them oddly. Do they communicate through their minds or something? It would definitely explain a lot.

Granger noticed my odd glances, and passed me a note.

_You're talking aloud, Malfoy. Not very loud, but whispering enough so Harry and I can hear._

Crap, I was talking aloud? What if Snape heard? That would have been bad. Well, probably not.

I looked up at Snape. Bloody He , it wiggled! Do wrinkles even do that? Granger covered her mouth. Potter's eyes widened, and he tried his best not to laugh. Was I really talking aloud?

Granger looked at Snape, and her eyes widened. "_My word, it does!"_ She whispered.

"_I know. I think it's flirting with us!" Harry whispered._

My eyes widened, and I covered my mouth. I looked down at the table as I began to laugh a bit. Once I calmed down, I looked up. Snape asked a question, and Granger raised her hand. He glared at it, and his wrinkle went up and down. It was as if it was like an eyebrow, wiggling suggestively at her. Did Snape's wrinkles have a thing for Hermione?

Harry burst out laughing. His face was red, and grabbed onto my shoulder for support. Granger couldn't hold it in either, and began laughing as well. I let out a few chuckles of my own. Snape whipped his head at us, and glared. Harry cursed next to me and laughed harder. Snape's wrinkle was twitching.

"Is there a problem?" Snape asked.

"No." Har-Potter said.

"Mr. Malfoy, is there a problem?" Professor Snape asked.

"No." I said. _Except your face_, I wanted to say.

Gasps were heard around the classroom. My eyes widened. "Did I talk aloud again?" I asked.

"Yes." Hermione whispered.

"Mr. Malfoy, Potter, and Miss Granger, you all have detention." Snape hissed.

"But sir, I didn't actually mean your face! I meant your wrinkles!" I exclaimed. The look on Snape's face was priceless. "That came out wrong!" I exclaimed, but it was too late, the damage was already done.

Hermione laughed. She laughed long and loud. She was falling over herself, jumping up and down, leaning on me, etc. etc. By the time she stopped, she was practically in my lap, her head on my shoulder, and happy tears running down her face. "Sorry." She said to Snape, a slight chuckle escaping her lips.

I swallowed awkwardly. This was Snape's fault technically. If he hadn't moved us, Granger and Potter would've never heard and we would have never started laughing.

"There like mountains." Neville muttered, in a slight daze, staring at the wrinkles. His eyes widened.

Everyone laughed.

"Detention, Longbottom. Class is dismissed."

I got up, and Hermione clung on my shoulder, needing support. I felt the need to push her off, but I didn't. I let her cling to my shoulder, and laugh. When I walked into the Great Hall, she was still next to me, her arm on my shoulder, and her face filled with pure joy. Potter and Weasley were behind us. I could hear them laughing. Harry was repeating everything that I had said. I stopped, waiting for Hermione to stop and head off to her own table. She didn't. Ron and Harry came and patted me on the shoulder.

Gosh, who knew? Wrinkles can really bring enemies together!


	3. Head Duties

**A/N: This was in my story "The Lion and the Lamb", but I'm taking it out and putting it here. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer : I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER!**

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><p>(Draco's p.o.v.)<p>

**9:30 P.M.**

She's a bloody lunatic! She's the most crazy person I have ever met. I am not going to be able to survive a whole night guarding the front of Hogwarts with her. She's packing books, and water bottles, and food, and whatever else she can fit into that darn bag of hers.

It's like she thinks we're going on a freakin' field trip!

She tried to get me to bring a bag of clothes. WHY WOULD I NEED A FLIPPIN' BAG OF CLOTHES TO GUARD HOGWARTS?

Anyway, now we're down at the entrance of Hogwarts. I'm sitting against the wall, and Granger is doing the same, but she has another bloody book in her hands. Her big buck teeth (Not that big anymore I've noticed.) are chewing on a Cheeto, whatever the heck that is.

Granger really likes Muggle junk food I've noticed. To me, this Cheeto thing looks like a frozen, orange worm.

"Would you like a Cheeto?" Granger asked me, closing her book and shoving the orange worm in my face.

I cautiously took it, and put it my mouth.

"It's alright..." I said.

YAH BLOODY RIGHT! THIS IS THE BEST SNACK I HAVE EVER EATEN!

Granger seemed to know that too, since she gave me the rest of the Cheeto bag. Gosh, with food like this, it seems almost alright to be a Muggle...

Did I really just think that?

**10:05 P.M.  
><strong>After eating that glorious food called a cheeto, I got bord and turned Granger's hair purple. She didn't even notice! Finally, I just told her, and she completely freaked out. Then she turned my hair pink.

BLOODY PINK!

She says she'll turn my hair back once I turn her hair back to it's original color.

Ya right, like that will happen.

**10:06 P.M. **  
>I want my hair back. Pink is NOT a good color on me.<p>

**10:07 P.M. **  
>I just asked for my hair back, so she turned it purple.<p>

I really hate her.

**10:08 P.M. **

I turned her hair red. She_ likes _it. _Stupid Mudblood_.

**10:09 P.M. **  
>I turned her hair green now. We match.<p>

**10:10 P.M.**

I WANT MY HAIR BACK!

**10:20 P.M.**

She finally turned it back, thank the Lord!

**10:25 P.M.  
><strong>"You're such a baby." I muttered to Granger, who was crying into her hands.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" Hermione exclaimed.

"IT WAS A FLIPPIN' SPIDER! YOU TOLD ME TO KILL IT!" I exclaimed back at her.

"YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO LISTEN!"

**11:00 P.M.**

She's still crying.

**11:05 P.M**.  
>I patted her on the back and she yelled "MURDERER!" in my ear.<p>

**11:06 P.M. **  
>She just said something, but I can't hear her. Ya know, BECAUSE SHE BUSTED MY EARDRUMS!<p>

**11:30 P.M. **  
>We had a funeral for the spider. We didn't bury it or anything. We just laid it to the side and said a few words.<p>

**10:36 P.M. **  
>The spider just got up and walked away. Turns out it was never dead at all.<p>

**10:39 P.M. **  
>I smashed the bug again. This time Granger didn't cry. She simply just opened up her water bottle and took a sip.<p>

**10:54 P.M. **  
>Doritos are God's gift to the world!<p>

**12:03 P.M. **  
>I just ran out of Doritos. Now I'm very sad.<p>

**12:10 P.M. **  
>Hermione wanted to play a game of cards.<p>

I dont, so I told her to shove them up her you-know-what. She's very quiet now.

**12:30 P.M. **  
>She just turned my hair green... <em>again<em>.

**12:35 P.M. **  
>We just heard a rustle in the bushes, but it turned out to just be a raccoon, who ran off after seeing us. Hermione said it's because it saw my hair.<p>

**12:50 P.M. **  
>She wouldn't change my hair back unless I complemented her. I couldn't think of anything so I made something up.<p>

**1:03 P.M.**  
>I love my hair.<p>

**1:45 P.M. **  
>Granger just fell asleep. REVENGE TIME!<p>

**2:05 P.M. **  
>.<p>

**2:07 P.M. **  
>HA!<p>

**2:10 P.M. **  
>I really have to go to the bathroom.<p>

**2:16 P.M. **  
>..<p>

**12:30 P.M.**  
>I'm done now.<p>

12:32 P.M.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

LOSER! You actually thought I was done laughing!

**3:09 A.M. **  
>Granger just now woke up. She hasn't noticed my revenge and I don't really feel like telling her.<p>

**4:02 A.M.**  
>She is so clueless.<p>

**5:06 A.M. **  
>I'm never telling her.<p>

**6:00 A.M. **  
>We're going inside now. I can't wait till breakfast.<p>

**Breakfast that morning **  
>I'm dead.<p>

**Lunch**  
>Still dead.<p>

**Dinner**  
>Deader than a doormat.<p>

**That night **  
>I'M ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE<p>

**3 seconds later **  
>Nah, just kidding. I'm still dead.<p>

**A minute later **  
>Or am I...<p>

**Midnight**  
>OK, I'm not dead anymore. I've puked all the slugs up Granger gave me, and almost all of the wounds are gone. Mrs. Pomfrey would like me to help Granger, and I told her I rather not.<p>

You're probably wondering what I'm talking about. You see, I sort of cast a spell upon her. All I did was write 'Malfoy Rules' and 'Draco is my hero!', and 'I want DM NOWWW!', etc, etc, etc, over every inch of her body. Now Granger is stuck with them. Don't expect me to erase 'I LOVE DRACO' off of the Mudblood's forehead, when she made me puke up slugs for a whole day, as well as breaking almost all my bones with a Breaklo Bonea spell.

Oh, how I love revenge.


	4. Love, Hermione Granger

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the reviews! They were awesome and so sweet. This chapter isn't Humor though, it's more of Friendship and Romance. Not every chapter will be Humor, but most will. Anyway, ENJOY!**

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><p>Dear whoever-you-are,<p>

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Perhaps it's just because i need to get it off my chest. There's a certain..._ subject_ that's been bothering me.

_Draco Malfoy_.

He's not as bad as everyone thinks, and that's coming from the girl he calls "Mudblood" just for a good laugh. You want to know how I know that?

Because I _saw _him.

I watched him when he thought no body was looking. I know that he hated breaking Pany's heart, and sends her flowers after every time he yells at her; I know he sends letters to his father in Azkaban, because despit what happened, he _still_, loves him; I know he helped a Gryffindor first year, and every day, he meets her in the Shrieking Shack, so she can tell him her problems and he can punch anyone who causes them; I know that he secretly has an amazing heart; I know that if he could, he would apoligize to Harry and Ron a thousand times over; I know that though Snape was mean and rude, he loved him like family; I know that whenever he calls me Mudblood, he's sorry; I know that the secret 'sorry' letters I get are from him.

I know.

And that's okay... because I like it that way.

I like how sweet he is to the first years. I like how he sends Pansy flowers. I like the fact that after all the crap his father put him through, Draco still loves him. I like that Snape was family to him. I _love_ that he's sorry.

And I'm sorry to...

for ever thinking that Draco Malfoy was anything other than amazing.

Love,

Hermione Granger

P.S. If someone finds this, please don't tell anyone.


	5. Hermione Malfoy

**Okay, guys, I got another letter one-shot. I hope you like it. It's sort of confusing. Sorry for misspelled words and such. It took me about five minutes to write. I hope you all enjoy it. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Dear Hermione,<p>

I never thought of you as _Mudblood_, I never thought of you as the Brightest Witch of the Age, and I'll NEVER think of you as **Granger.**

You've always been Hermione to me. Sure, I called you Granger and Mudblood quite a few times, but it was always Hermione in my head.

_Always._

You see, I don't think you're a Mudblood, because what kind of Mudblood has eyes that are _that_ pretty? I don't think of you as the Brightest Witch of the Age because I think of you as the Brightest Witch of _ALL_ Time.

And lastly, I HATE your last name. Hermione _Granger_? EWWWWW. Innocent schoolchildren die when they hear it. It's just gross, but let's get back on topic. There's nothing I'd change about you.

Except, _of course_, you're last name. How about Hermione **Malfoy**?

Ya, I like that. Well shit, I LOVE that. The Malfoy name suits you well, darling. Let's get married and make it official.

Love,

Draco Malfoy

P.s. - If I don't get a reply in the next 30 seconds, I'm taking that as a yes. Mother will be so happy. She finally gets to plan my wedding!


	6. M'Lady

**WARNING: THIS IS VERY VERY VERY OOC! I'm not really fond of this. I'm afraid it doesn't make too much sense...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"What do you even know about him?" Ginny exclaimed.<p>

"I know that he never calls me hot... only beautiful." Hermione said, blinking at her friend. She had expected this kind of reaction.

"That's a lie! He calls whoever he dates hot!" Ginny replied, rising from her chair.

"Not _me_."

"What else?" Ginny asked. She was calmer now, but still angry.

"I know that when he looks at me, he smiles. Not smirks, **smiles**."

"Well, ya..." Ginny stuttered.

"I know that when Ron left me at the Yule Ball, _crying,_ he was the one to comfort me." Hermione whispered.

"He hated you then." Ginny stated.

"Exactally."

"..."

"..."

"Here he comes."

"_Hello, Beautiful_."

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><p>"Are you joking. Tell me she's joking!" Ronald Weasley exclaimed.<p>

"No, Ronald, I'm not." Hermione replied.

"But he's the nastiest bloke in the world!" Harry screamed.

"No, he's the greatest bloke in the world... to _me_."

"Are you sure?" Ron asked.

"You know, I don't think I've ever been sure on anything before, but on this, when it's _him_, I am. I **know**." She smiled, looking dreamy eyed.

"You don't love him, do you?" Harry asked, looking at her curiously.

"No... not yet. But it's something very close."

"I still don't like him." Harry muttered.

"You don't have to."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hello Ronald, Harry, and you, of course, _my luv_."

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><p>"20 points from Gryffindor!" Snape yelled, glaring at Hermione Granger.<p>

"_30_ POINTS FROM SNAPE!" Draco Malfoy yelled. Heads whipped in his direction and his god-father stared at him oddly.

"What?" Snape asked.

"30 POINTS FROM SNAPE!" Draco yelled. "Dumbledore would be so disappointed."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking away points for no reason. Ya know, kinda like you." Draco said, smiling.

"Excuse me?" Snape drawled, glaring at Draco.

"I'm defending _M'lady_ in a way, Snape. Oh, and that's another 10 points for not listening."

"Draco..."

"Yes?"

"Detention."

"**_100_** POINTS FROM SNAPE!"

"DRACO MALFOY, YOU WILL-"

"I'd shut your mouth now, you already have negative 142 points. Do you want to make it negative 143?"

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><p>"Did you hear? Draco got detention for th rest of the year for defending Hermione." Harry said to Ginny.<p>

"Really?"

"Ya, it was quite funny actually. He took points away from Snape."

"Snape has points?"

"No, but Draco made it sound like he did. Look, here comes 'Mione." Harry said, smiling at the approaching figure.

"Hey guys."

"Hey."

"Have you seen Draco."

"..."

"..."

"Hello _my darling._"

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><p>"Does he ever just call her Hermione?"<p>

"No... he actually doesn't."


	7. RETURN OF THE WRINKLE!

**A/N: Yes, this is another story about Snape's wrinkles. I hope you find it amusing!**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

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><p><strong><span>R E T U R N . O F . T H E . W R I N K L E ! ! ! ! !<span>**

One thing Snape didn't think through when he put us in detention was that he put us in detention with _him._

Or more importantly, his wrinkles.

I've been thinking about it lately, and I'm almost positive they're trying to seduce Granger. I've done some research, and sometimes, if the wizard or witch hates some blemish like pimples or per'say _wrinkles, _the object comes to life.

That's just awkward. Poor Snape.

Anyway, Potter, Weasley, Longbottom, Granger, and I are sitting in detention, staring at Snape face. At first, I felt uncomfortable surrounded by Gryffindors,and was bickering with them, but then Snape wrinkles came in. Then it was like we were all bestfriends, sharing a special secret.

_We've decided to name the wrinkles Bob_ -

_Hermione_

Bob? I looked at the wrinkles. I thought they looked more like a 'Charlie' or 'Chuck' but since Hermione _is _the one being seduced, I supose I shall let it slid.

Hermione is too pretty to marry a wrinkle.

HOLY MOTHER LOAD! DID I JUST CALL HERMIONE PRETTY?

HOLY FATHER LOAD! DID I JUST CALL HERMIONE 'HERMIONE'?

"Uh, Draco, you're talking aloud." Hermione whispered to me.

"HOLY SNAPE LOAD!" I exclaimed, covering my mouth a second later.

"Mr. Malfoy, I'd suggest you control your tongue."

"I'd suggest you get some wrinkle remover." I muttered, beneath my breath. Hermione giggled.

Snape ignored me. Pft, like I wanted to talk to you and your ugly wrinkles anyway!

Professor McGonagall just walked in.

Oh my.

It's terrifying! It's horrifying!

IT'S A TALKING MOLE!

"Professor Snape, would you help me with this problem. It seems that some students thought it would be entertaining to bring my mole to life." Professor McGonagall said.

The mole looked at Ron. "_Hey, hot-stuff, wanna hang with me tonight?"_

Ron's eyes fell out.

"OH!" Professor McGonagall muttered, grabbing them and sticking them back into Ron's eyeball sockets. "I'm terribly sorry for my mole's behavior, Mr. Weasley."

Beside me, Granger's eyebrows were raised, and her lips were drawn in a tight line, trying desperatly not to laugh.

Professor McGonagall turned back to Snape and the whole room went silent.

The wrinkle...

The mole...

_Were detatching themselves from their faces!_

"BLOODY HELL!" Ron exclaimed.

The mole hopped off of McGonagall's face and ran to Snape's wrinkles. They embraced one another and ran off down the hall.

"What-"

"the-"

"_HELL?_"


	8. Sexy

**A/N: Haha, thanks for all the reviews. They mean a lot to me! Anyway, here's the next chapter... =)**

**Disclaimer - I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! **

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><p>"Draco, do you think I'm sexy."<p>

"HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! NOOOOOOOO!"

"Wha-WHY?"

"YOU ARE NOT SEXY! Who would ever want to be sexy anyway?"

"Well, _me."_

"Why be sexy, when you can be **beautiful**? When you're sexy, you wear short dresses and let everything hang out. When you're beautiful, you can run around in sweats and boys still fall desperately in love with you. So no, Hermione, you aren't sexy. You're beautiful."

"That's cheesy."

"That's **_love_**."


	9. Scary

They're a terrible match. There isn't a doubt about it. They fought like three year olds. Draco would admit to a terrible secret. Hermione would fall unconcious.

Draco revived her with a bucket of water. Hermione yelled at Draco. Draco yelled at Hermione. Hermione angrily stomped around the room. Draco reminded Hermione to keep quiet. Hermione told Draco to go to hell. Draco told her to go drown herself. Hermione sat down to let everything sink in. Draco summoned two drinks. The two of them chugged them down. They laughed. They cried. They _cursed _the **world**. They got kicked out of the the Head's Common Room by an angry and hormonal Severeus Snape. They said 'screw you' to strangers. They drank their sorrows away. They kissed underneath streetlamps, and ran through the rain, _dancing_. They sang so loud they woke China up, and they laughed so long, Voldemort just right out killed himself. They snogged in public and giggled at dissaproving glares. They sat on the park bench, holding hands, smiling, because the other's hand was so warm and it fit their _just right_. They shared secrets, and made their own. They joked, and they cursed the other into oblivitaion. They screamed so loud, everyone thought **it was over**, but then she kissed him so hard that everyone knew it would never end. They got matching tattoos, and jumped fencing. He mad her go **wild**, while she drove him _insane_. They had not one thing in common...

Except that they loved eachother so much it was** scary.**

And if _that_ kind of love is scary, who would ever be afraid?

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, I'd like to reply to a review I've received...**

_Dear NOTE TO MADDIE!,_

_You're review made me laugh SO hard. I swear man, that was funny! I've updated it like you asked, I hope you're happy. =D_

_Love,_

_xXGoldie12Xx_


	10. Toxic

Dear Hermione,

You weren't supposed to mean that much to me. In fact, you weren't supposed to mean anything to me at all. But you did. But you _do._

Maybe it was your laugh. That laugh... it's very beautiful, ya know? Lovely. Haunting.

_**Toxic.**_

It's strange, but that doesn't make it any less true. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, but I did. You made me fall so darn hard...

Rude much?

Seriously, couldn't you make Potter or Weasel fall?

You just had to give me that look. Not the glares, or the curious looks. _That_ look. The one thatshows me you actually give a crap.

And that makes me happy. Gosh, I can't even believe how happy I feel when you look at me that way. Does it make you happy? Do you even feel the same?

Why can't **you** see? Why can't _I _see?

_You're killing me, Granger._

You're toxic, yet you're a poison I don't mind drinking.

Your touch is venom, and your kiss is deadly. You're freakin' killing me.

But...

If being dead means I still have you, then go ahead and shoot me.

Sincerely,

A-very-pissed-off-Draco-Malfoy

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, that was based off a song I wrote. The "Your touch is venom, and your kiss is deadly" as well as "You're toxic, but you're a poison I don't mind drinking." are just some of the lyrics. IF YOU STEAL, YOU DIE! **

**Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. I got that off someone's profile. I don't remember who though. I'd like to reply to a review I've received...**

_Dear NOTE TO MADDIE!,_

_I'm not positive, but I'm going to guess that you are Gabby... Am I right?_

_Love,_

_xXGoldie12Xx_


	11. The Exception

**A/N: Hey, guys. This one is kinda stupid, but I like it anyway.. ****Now that we have that clarrified, I suppose I should get on with the story... =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Who really thought I did?**

Dear NOTE TO MADDIE! -

Are you MiiMyselfandTime, xDreamRealityx, or .Shine.? Those are three people that messaged me a lot awhile back. The rest of the people still message me. So are you one of those?

Sincerely,

_xXGoldie12Xx_

* * *

><p>"So, Malfoy, I heard some talk that you were out treating a girl late last night." Hermione Granger said.<p>

Draco shrugged. "You know me. Potter's the knight in shining armor, I'm the other guy that makes the ladies swoon."

"So, you fancy yourself as Prince Charming, hey?"

"No, I'd be a crappy Prince _Charming_. I mean, I have the whole looks thing pulled off, but-" When she smacked him, he pretended to be mortally wounded. "You hurt me, Granger. You really do."

"Out with it, stupid," she said affectionatly. "Who do you like?"

He stared at her in horror. "Me? Actually _like _somebody?"

She punched him in shoulder. Scowling, he rubbed it. "The girl I took out last night was just a fling. So no, I don't like anybody. At all. I'm the cold-hearted Slytherin jack-ass, remember?" He winked at her, standing up and brushing invisible dust from his shoulder. "_Liking _somebody would be ruining my reputation completely, wouldn't it?"

She followed suit, walking beside him. Hermione raised her eyebrows at him. "And what am I, eh? Chopped onions?"

He smirked at her. "No, you're Hermione Granger," he said, stretching. She could _hear _the smile in his voice. "You're the exception."

"Excuse me?"

Draco only smiled at her, turned on his heel, and walked out the door. As he exited, he threw a single hand up and said, "Later, my little Mudblood."

Hermione gasped. Not because he had said 'Mudblood', but because he had called her 'his'.

_Hogwarts was just full of surprises._

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><p><strong>As I said, kinda stupid. I kinda liked it though... =P<strong>


	12. EVERYBODY RUN!

**Okay, guys, I got another chapter. I hope you like it. It's sort of confusing. Sorry for misspelled words and such. It took me about five minutes to write. I hope you all enjoy it. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p><strong>Come'on Granger, let's flirt in the middle of class, and laugh so hard we cry in detention,.<strong>

**let's sit at the others table in the Great Hall, and snog where everyone can see us,**

**Then, we'll say it was all a joke, for their benefit, but then we'll do it again tomorrow.**

**Let's fall in love.**

* * *

><p>"Did you hear?"<p>

"What?

"Draco Malfoy was eating at the Gryffindor table!"

xxx

"Did you hear?"

"No. TELL ME!"

"Draco Malfoy was flirting with Hermione Granger in Potions!"

"Crap."

xxx

"Omg, did you see that?"

"Yes!"

"Why the heck was _Draco Malfoy _laughing with Hermione Granger?"

"I don't know. Are they together?"

"..."

xxx

"WHAT THE HECK!"

"THEY - WO-WAIT- DRACO MALFOY IS SNOGGING GRANGER!"

"Oh god, the world has end! EVERYBODY RUN!"

xxx

"Did you hear?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe they were faking..."

xxx

"They weren't faking?"

"_Bloody hell!"_

xxx

Draco Malfoy sat down next to Hermione Granger in the Great Hall. People threw glares, while others threw approving smiles. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley just stared.

"I thought you guys said you were faking?" Harry said, though it was more of a question.

"Ya, we are." Draco said.

"Then why are you sitting here?"

"Because I like Granger."

"But you said you were faking!"

"Yep." Draco said, popping the 'p'. He grabbed an apple and kissed Hermione full on the lips. "See you later, my luv." He said, standing up and walking away.

xxx

"Can someone please tell me what the heck is going on?"

"Well, Draco and Hermione acted like they were dating yesterday, then said it was a prank, but now they're doing it again today."

"It was a rhetorical question."

"What the point in asking if you don't want an answer?"

xxx

"Dang, they sure are getting it on."

"Is that even allowed?"

"..."

"..."

"No."

"Snape is coming."

"Shiiiiiiiiiiit."

xxx

"Ms. Granger, Mr. Malfoy! This behavior will not be allowed in the hallways! 50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

Draco pulled away from Hermione and laughed a bit. "And for Slytherin?"

Snape looked from Draco to Hermione. "50 points from Slytherin,_ god-son_."

He said it with distaste, but loudly. There was a hint of pride in his voice, looking at Draco. He was snogging a muggle-born in public, and he didn't give a crap who watched.

xxx

"DRACO AND HERMIONE AREN'T TOGETHER!"

"DANG IT! I WAS STARTING TO LIKE THEM!"

"Wait..."

"What?"

"Wait for tomorrow and see what happens."

xxx

"OH YEA! LONG LIVE DRAMIONE!"

"What the hell is a Dramione? Is it a disease? EVERYBODY RUN!"

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><p><strong>Ha, I had fun writing that. Now to reply to a question...<strong>

**Dear NOTE TO MADDIE!,**

**I'm sorry, I'm so confused. WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME FEEL DUMB! Haha, jk. **

**But seriously, can you just tell me who you are?**

**Love, **

**GOLDIE!**


	13. Cry

_Dear Hermione,_

_I like it when you cry._

_I know I sound like some sick twisted jerk saying that, but I do._

_If you CRY, because of something that **I** say, that means you don't hate me. If you really hated me, you wouldn't give a shit what I say._

_So I make you cry, because I need to remember that you FEEL something for me. It may be pity, or dislike, or maybe love, but it's SOMETHING._

_And that's truely all that I need._

_Love,_

_Draco._


	14. MEEEEEEE

A/N: This one is silly, and you probably won't like it, but YOU WILL LIKE THE NEXT ONE! I'll update soon. =)

* * *

><p><strong>Thrusday, October 6<strong>

_Dear Diary,_

_My life SUCKS! I swear, Harry has it easy with Voldemort._

_DRACO FREAKIN' MALFOY LIKES ME!_

_ME!_

_YES, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_

_Don't get me wrong, I'm actually quite flattered, but it's so WIERD! Ron says he's going to kill him. I told him not to, that was my job since I'm his girlfriend._

_Yes, G-I-R-L-F-R-I-E-N-D!_

_I told him I like him to, and he kissed me. And I liked it._

_I_ **really** _liked it._

_What's wrong with me. He's the ENEMY! But, geeze, what kind of enemy has eyes that are that pretty? What kind of enemy gives you_ ******butterflies**. ****_I asked Harry if that was how he felt about Voldemort. He said no, so I assume it's a girl thing._

_Anyway, I guess I don't mind if my life sucks. He can make it better. =)_

_Love,_

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

><p><strong>Writing about me, are you?<strong>

_No._

**I saw my name.**

_Well, I saw my foot, so shove off._

**No. I enjoy this: our silly banters, our childish fights, you give me what my dad took away.**

_What's that?_

**Love.**

_I really need a new boyfriend. _

**O.o Honestly, Hermione, you wound me.**


	15. Dear Mommy

A/N: This one is silly. I'll update soon. =)

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><p>Dear Mother,<p>

Life at Hogwarts is exciting. Seventh year is turning out to be quite nice. The Slytherins and Gryffindors have agreed to end our little fued. I kinda miss it. It gave me something to do when I was bored.

Now, what else has been going on?

OH YA! I stole Hermione Granger's diary!

Now, before you give me a lecture about how just because she's Muggleborn, that doesn't give you any right to treat her badly, let me make something clear.

I DID NOT STEAL HER DIARY BECAUSE SHE'S MUGGLEBORN, I STOLE IT BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HER.

Clear enough, isn't it?

Anyway, I was so bored, having nothing to do since I don't make fun of Gryffindors anymore, and her diary was sitting on her desk.

_In the open._

_Just waiting for someone to steal it._

Honesty, I'm only human, mother.

I haven't looked inside yet, but perhaps I should do that now.

Okay, I read a page. She's so boring.

Read a couple more. She has a crush on Ron Weasley. Can someone say barf?

Ohhhhhh, she talks about me. She likes my eyes. Maybe she isn't as boring as I thought.

She's been having dreams about me, Mother, very descriptive dreams.

She wrote down her score for Black Ops.

I think I love her, mother. I really do.

That's it! I'm asking her to marry me. Send me great grandma's ring, will you?

Love,

The-most-amazing-son-ever-known

_Draco Malfoy._


	16. I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER Double update!

**H O L D M Y H A N D**

"Hermione, will you hold my hand?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"PLEASE?"

"No!"

"HOLD MY FREAKIN' HAND!"

* * *

><p><em>TISSUE<em>

"IF YOU WANT MY BODY AND YOU THINK I'M SEXY, COME'ON BABY, LET ME KNOOOOOOOOOW!"

"Draco..."

"I w-want-"

"YES?"

"A tissue. That was terrible singing."

* * *

><p><span>hOuSe ElF<span>

"Hermione, I'm _so_ sorry, but I'm leaving you for the house elf."

"WHAT?"

"I'm just joking."

"Oh... good."

"HURRY WINKY! LET'S GO TO VEGAS AND GET HITCHED!"

* * *

><p><strong>This is wierd, isn't it? Anyway, can you please go to my profile and vote on my poll? I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DO!<strong>


	17. He Deserved It

**I'm afraid this doesn't make too much sense, but I enjoyed writing it. =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

><p>Hermione Granger descended the staircase, looking beautiful as a rose.<p>

Draco felt his jaw drop. "She's actually pretty?" He heard someone mutter.

Their was only one word Draco could say in a situation like this: "SHIT!"

Beside him, Blaise nodded. "I don't even think that should be allowed."

"THAT'S NOT LEGAL!" Draco exclaimed, pointing at Hermione. "SHE ISN'T ALLOWED TO LOOK THAT DAMN BEAUTIFUL! SOMEBODY GET SNAPE! 80 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!"

"I'll go get Snape. He'll put an end to her vicious plan to kill all us Sytherins with beauty!" Blaise exclaimed.

"I always knew she was evil. How low! I THINK I LOVE HER!" Some random Slytherin exclaimed.

* * *

><p>"Granger!" Draco exclaimed. Krum looked at him instead. Draco nodded toward him. "Mind if I cut in?" He asked.<p>

Krum smiled, and handed Hermione over, running off into the sunset.

"I know your plan." Draco muttered, as he began to dance with her.

"What plan?"

"Your evil plan."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Malfoy." Hermione said, annoyed.

"You're trying to kill the Slytherins with your beauty." He hissed at her.

Hermione stared at him. "What?"

"You're trying to kill us!"

"Why would I try to kill you?" Hermione muttered, staring at the beyond stupid boy.

"YOU HATE US! Now, you're trying to make us die by looking damn beautiful."

"You realize you just complemented me, right?" Hermione asked, smiling.

"No duh. Gosh, Granger, are you seriously _that_ dumb? If your the brightest witch of the age, Lord knows what Neville is."

Hermione glared.

"What?" Draco asked.

"That was mean."

"You're mean."

"NO!"

"YES!"

"KRUM!"

"GO AWAY, KRUM!"

"MALFOY!"

"Damn! YOU'RE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU'RE MAD!"

"I'm going to kill you."

"Wear that dress and you can do whatever you want with me."

* * *

><p>"Today, we acknowledge a very <em>tragic<em> loss. Last night, at the Yule Ball, Draco Malfoy was murdered by Hermione Granger." Dumbledore explained. "Now, I'd like to have a moment of silence for Mr. Malfoy."

Every shut their mouths. Not a word was heard, except for the faint whisper of Hermione Granger. "_He deserved it_."


	18. Snog A Book

**A/N: DRACO ISN'T DEAD! IT WAS A JOKE! CALM DOWN YOU WILD ANIMALS! How could I really kill off Draco? He too cute to be killed off. Seriously, the only reason my sister tolerates watching Harry Potter movies is because she thinks he's cute. If Tom Felton didn't play Draco, she said she would make me watch them alone. ANYWAY, DRACO DID NOT DIE! Goodness people, it was a joke! Since so many people hated the last part, I've written an alternate ending. Here it is:**

_AlTeRnAtE eNdInG_

_Draco Malfoy popped up in his bed, his eyes widened. He pinched himself to see if he was alive. Seeing how it really hurt, he shrugged and fell back asleep where he continued to have numerous dreams of a certain Muggleborn witch._

**Yes, it's beautiful, isn't it?**

**Anyway, here's the chaper. ENJOY!**

* * *

><p>"You need a boyfriend!" Ginny exclaimed, shaking Hermione's shoulders.<p>

"I have my books." Hermione replied, picking up a blue book as an example.

"You can't snog a book."

"Yes, you can."

"Show me." Ginny said, smirking.

Hermione smirked, and began to snog her book. She was unaware of the blond-headed boy behind her.

"What. The. Hell?"

"MALFOY!" Hermione exclaimed, "IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "I knew you loved books, but I never even considered that you would go as far as to snog one."

"I told you, it isn't what it looks like."

"What else could it be?"

"It stopped breathing for your information."

"_The book?"_

"Books can breath."

"Ya, and Potter will actually stay dead."

"Books _can_ breath, Malfoy. You just don't know it."

"Books can't breath, Granger. That's like saying Voldemort likes Hello Kitty. It's not happening."

"How do you know he doesn't like Hello Kitty?"

"Are you seriously asking me this?"

"Yes."

"Good God, Granger, you need help."

"Excuse me, Voldemort's the one who likes Hello Kitty."

* * *

><p><strong>The ending didn't make too much sense but oh well. P.S. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! I AM SO BLESSED TO HAVE ALL YOU NICE PEOPLE READING MY STORY! LOVE YOU GUYS!<strong>


	19. Kidnapp

**A/N: Okay, the LAST chapter 'Snog a Book' was based on my friend. She was kissing her book and her crush walked up behind her. It was really funny. Anyway, this is something someone said to me in this chapter. It was odd to say in the least. ENJOY!**

**P.s. - to everybody who keeps saying that the characters probably wouldn't do this or that, I KNOW. I already told you it's OOC. Anyway, I LOVE YOU ALL!**

* * *

><p>"Hermione, I was wondering..."<p>

"What?"

"Well, can I..."

"Can you what?"

"Can I kidnapp you?"

"No!"

"Wrong answer! I'm a kidnapper, you don't get a choice dumb-ass."

* * *

><p><strong>!<strong>

**Gosh, I'm such a loser!**


	20. Laugh

**A/N: **Dear ItsKingsleyBitch,

Honestly, you'd think you would have read ONE author's note by now. Have I not made it perfectly clear that this is JUST FOR FUN? I've told you all OVER AND OVER! Just stop with the insults. This story is supposed to be stupid and sloppy and not make sense! I made it as a stress reliever I guess. So, please just stop with comments like this. I made it for fun, I made Draco weird, and I made Hermione wayyyy to OOC, but hey, it's MY story. I'm sorry if I come across rude, but that's how I feel. Just stop.

**So, to the rest of you, thanks for the reviews. =/ Enjoy... I guess.**

* * *

><p><em>He laughed.<em>

_It's quite beautiful, you know. Kind of like your favorite love song mixed with some kind of haunting symphony. Once you hear it, you'll never forget it._

_It's wierd though. You would expect his laugh to be evil. You'd expect it to be ugly, but no. When Draco Malfoy laughs, it's like God sent an angel to earth. It's the way his whole face lights up, his eyes sparkle, and that damn grin of his spreads across his face... and that sound. Oh, that sound. It's almost like Heaven. Scratch that, it **is **Heaven._

_No choir of angles could beat that melody, and no amount of wizards could defeat that sound of pure magic._

_It's funny though, because he only ever laughs like that when I'm around. Isn't that wierd?_

* * *

><p>=


	21. Mrinkle 'THANK YOU GUYS'

**A/N: Hey, guys. I want to thank you all so much for reviewing. Seriously, those kind reviews made me feel so much better. Thank you all so much. This chapter is dedicated to **Just Your Above Average Malfoy, Karma Kate 281, waterflower20, tomgirl1219, trulyaravenclaw, qwertyupzz, **and everyone else! I know that's a lot to dedicate one chapter to, but oh well. Everyone of your reviews made me feel better. Thank you all and bless your Harry Potter luvin' hearts! Anyway, I tried to make this chapter special, but it didn't turn out exactally as planned. Oh well, I hope everyone enjoys! I've brought back a character from previous chapters that everyone loves...**

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><p>"So... Snape's wrinkle and McGonagall's mole had a baby?" Draco Malfoy asked. Professor McGonagall, Snape, Harry, Ron, Neville, Hermione, and him sat in Dumbledore's office.<p>

"I'm afraid so." Dumbledore muttered, looking disgusted.

"And we're invited to go see it?" Hermione asked.

"Yes." Dumbledore muttered, still looking beyond disgusted. He looked ready to vomit.

"Well, let's get this over with..." Snape drawled, standing up and flashing everyone to Mole and Wrinkle's house.

* * *

><p>"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?"<p>

"LOOK AWAY! HURRY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

Quickly, everyone turned away from the true horror in front of them. Well, everyone but Ron. His jaw dropped and his eye balls fell out.

Professor McGonagall reached down and grabbed them, placing them back into Ron's eyeball sockets. "Honestly, Mr. Weasley. I think you need to get these things checked out. They keep falling out!"

"Maybe they'll come to life too." Draco whispered to Hermione. She looked horrorstruck, and looked at Ron, who was rubbing his eyes.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry covered Hermione's mouth.

Professor McGonagall swallowed, and glanced at Mole. "What's its name?"

"_Mrinkle." _Mole muttered. "_We've made you the god-mother."_

Professor McGonagall's eyeballs fell out.

Ron smirked. "See, it's only natural!" He exclaimed.

Snape stood to the side, looking pale.

"What it it, Sev?" Draco asked, placing a hand on his god-father's shoulder.

"I feel sick." Snape muttered.

"_You should be." _Mole said.

"What?" Snape asked, looking at the small, talking blemish. Wrinkle came out from behind her.

"_I am calling a family reunion. COME MY BROTHERS!" _Wrinkle exclaimed.

Wrinkles began hopping down from Snape's face, gathering around Mrinkle and cheering. Snape screamed in agony as wrinkle after wrinkle tore away.

Then the room became silent, as every head looked at Snape, who was free of wrinkles.

"Oh."

"My."

"GAWD!""

"SNAPE LOOKS _YOUNG!"_

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"EVERYONE RUN! Next thing we know, Mrinkle is going to give birth to Voldemort Jr.!"

A laugh came from the corners. "Ha, you're such a dumb-ass. I'm already here!"

"AHHHHHHH! I'M GOING TO ALASKA! THE LAND BEYOND THE GODS!"

"Have you been reading Percy Jackson?" Voldemort Jr. asked.

"Yes, I have."

Voldemort Jr. began jumping up and down. "I LOVE THAT BOOK! Don't you think that Percy and Annabeth are adorable?"

Ron nodded, hopping up and down. "YES!"

"This is so wierd." Draco muttered.

"I know right?" Hermione said.

Professor McGonagall was looking for her eyeballs, Snape was glaring at Harry, who stared at him like he was Jesus, Ron and Voldemort Jr. were hopping like bunnies, the Mole and Wrinkle famliy were celebrating Mrinkle's birth, and Hermione and Draco stood to the side, watching the scene unfold with wide eyes.

"Want to snog?"

"Sure."


	22. In Your Dreams, Malfoy

**A/N: This one is just random. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it...**

* * *

><p>"Hey, Granger. What's up?"<p>

"The sky."

"No shit!"

"Yah."

"You look awful. Really, you look like someone just tore your heart out."

"Ya, uh Neville did."

"NEVILLE?"

"Not like that! We were in class and he accidently hit me with some spell that made my heart fall out."

"That's gross."

"Well, _ya_. My heart seriously fell out."

"Well... I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready."

"Ha, in your dreams, Malfoy."

"What's wrong with sitting on my lap?"

"You're Malfoy. It's just wierd."

"So you're saying I'm like chocolate pudding? That I'm crappy? Well, I may look like crap, but I'm as sweet as can be."

"Wow. That was lame."

"Ya... I know."

"Did you finish the Divition homework?"

"Ya, what was up with the geni stuff?"

"Ha, I know what I would wish for..."

"I know what you would wish for too."

"What?"

"POOF!"

"What are you doing? Get off my lap!"

"I'm here. What's your other two wishes?"

"You're so stupid."

"You're only saying that because you know how awesome I am."

"Go away."

"No, we need to work on our friendship."

"We don't have a friendship."

"Which is exactlly why we need to work on it."

"Fine, whatever."

"Let's tell secrets!"

"You're such a wierdo!"

"I'm invisible."

"Really?"

"Can you see me?"

"Yes"

"How about tomorrow night?"

"That was a trick."

"Good to know you're as smart as they say you are."


	23. Can't Be Replaced

**A/N: This is my first poem in this story. I hope you like it. =) **

* * *

><p>They thought of the <em>giggles<em>,

the laughs, and the **lights**,

and how when all hell broke l-o-o-s-e,

they put up a pretty damn good f*i*g*h*t,

They remembered the ROSES,

That _SHE _brought to **HIM,**

They remembered how the _rain_ smelt,

when they shared a fist k.i.s.s.,

She thought of the _**giants**_,

that once seemed so t a l l,

but when those giants tried to **t**ea_r_ them apart,

they weren't so **tall** after _all_,

He remembered her s|m|i|l|e,

that brightened his w]h[o]l[e day,

because a LOVE like that,

Can't be replaced. =P


	24. HIIIIIIII

**A/N: Hey, guys. I want to thank you all so much for reviewing. Seriously, TWO HUNDRED REVIEWS! That's amazing! Thanks so much. This chapter is stupid though. I'm not even joking. You probably will have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh well.**

* * *

><p>Mr. Granger shut his curtains and grabbed his wife's hand. They were <span>here<span>. They had been warned, and now the nightmare was coming true.

The Deatheaters were here for their daughter.

Their front door blew open and in walked a vicious looking man. "Hello..." He drawled. "Is Miss Granger home?"

"No." Mr Granger muttered.

"Don't lie. I can smell her." The man said.

Another man walked in. He was younger, and around Hermione's age.

"Hello!" He exclaimed.

"You... you're the Malfoy boy." Mrs. Granger said slowly.

"Aw, Granger's been talking about me." He said, smiling goofily. The only thing running through Mr. and Mrs. Granger's minds was '_How can he hurt us? He's freakin' adorable.'_

Draco began running around their house, knocking things over. The other man watched bemused. Well, until Draco knocked him out.

He smiled at the Grangers. "Sorry for interrupting your day. I had to convince him I was on his side, even though I'm not." He picked up the man's ankles and dragged him out the door. "TELLL HERMIONE I SAID HIIIIIIIII!"

* * *

><p><strong>So this was my version of what would happen if Draco joined the Order. Odd, right?<strong>


	25. Number

**A/N: ...**

**CUZ YOU'RE HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!**

**Who else love AVPM? I just finished watching it for the 100th freakin' time. It's that amazing. =) Anyway, this chapter doesn't make since, but hey, since when do any of these chapters do?**

* * *

><p>"DRACOFREAKIN'MALFOY!" Hermione exclaimed.<p>

She, a muggleborn, entered a Pureblood only ball. Witches and wizards stared at her, muttering, "Honestly, again? This is worse than last year."

"Granger?" Draco asked, standing up.

"YOU FOUL EXCUSE FOR A FERRET! NO, YOU AREN'T A FERRET, FERRETS ARE ABOVE YOU, YOU TOAD!"

"How did you get past the guards?"

"WHAT GUARDS? OH, YOU MEAN THOSE TWO FAT GUYS IN FRONT? THEY MAY BE BIG, BUT THEY CAN'T CAST A SPELL TO SAVE THEIR LIVES!"

"Why are you here?"

"WHY AM I HERE? WHAT A STUPID QUESTION! I'M HERE TO MURDER YOU!"

Draco stared at her. "Excuse me? What did I do?"

"YOU NEVER CALLED!"

"Pardon?"

"YOU NEVER CALLED ME BACK YOU FREAKIN' JERK!"

"I don't even have your number." Draco muttered.

"YOU-YOU- YOU WHAT?"

"I don't have your number."

"Oh."

"Ya."

"Well, here, take it." Hermione muttered, handing Draco a piece of paper with her number on it.

"Thanks."

"Bye."

"Bye."


	26. Paper

**A/N: I LOVE DRACO MALFOY!**

**Oh... sorry for my outburst there. Here's the next chapter!**

* * *

><p>Why does life have to be so hard, Hermione thought, her head falling to the side.<p>

Why did Harry convince me to take this stupid class, she thought, staring at the crystal orbe in front of her. Divination was so stupid in Hermione's eyes, as well as it's wacked out teacher. There was nothing exciting about it... at all.

Beside her, Ron was getting a good talk. She was yelling about prophacies and such. She calmed, flatted her dress, but glared at Ron like he comitted murder.

"Does somebody need a hug?" Draco Malfoy exclaimed loudly.

She began to go balistic again, but Draco simply replied by saying, "Wow, I can tell you're a blast at parties."

Professor Trelawney turned around, and ignored Draco. He laughed, pulling a piece of paper out of his page. He began tearing it, throwing bit and peices of it in the air, whispering, "_Fly, my brothers! Fly_!"

"Mr. Malfoy, I suggest you stop NOW!"

Draco stopped and put on a very serious face. "Are you racist against paper?" He asked.

Professor Trewlaney ignored him again. "Mr. Malfoy, switch seats will Neville please." She said simply, as if this was normal behavior.

Draco smirked, and took Neville's seat beside Hermione.

Professor Trewlaney dimmed the lights. Hermione stared at the orbe in front of her.

"YOU MAKE ME! FEEL LIKE I'M LIVIN' A TEENAGE DREAM! THE WAY YOU TURN-" Draco sang at the top of his lungs, grabbing Hermione's hand and singing to her.

Professor Trewlaney flicked the lights back on and Draco looked around confusingly. "What was that dreadful sound?" He asked.

"YOU!" The professor exclaimed.

"Me? Ha, I sing like a choir of angels."

"GRRRRR."

Hermione looked at Harry, who smirked as if to say 'See? This is fun!'

"Mr. Malfoy, if you don't refrain yourself, I will have you removed from my classroom."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'LL _REMOVE _ME? I **want **to leave, Professor!" Draco exclaimed, standing up. He grabbed Hermione by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. "AND I'M TAKING THIS BEAVER WITH ME!"

Then, Draco ran out of the classroom and into the sunset, Hermione on his shoulder, and an angry Porfessor Trewlawny running after them. Then Draco summoned Buckbeak, whom he was bestfriends with now, and flew into the sky, Hermione beside him.

"So... do you like Divination _now_?"


	27. Again

**A/N: I don't like this one, but OH WELL!**

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><p>Hermione Granger buried her head in her hands. Why her? Why did it always have to be her? She had been having the time of her life, and <em>he<em> just had to ruin it. She took off the heels that had been hurting her feet, only she hadn't noticed until now, and cried some more. People passed, looking at her oddly, but not offering any help.

"_Hermione Granger?"_ A voice called out. She looked up to find herself looking at Draco Malfoy.

"Shove off, Malfoy." She muttered.

"Ouch." Malfoy muttered, placing his hand over his heart. "That scarred me."

Hermione huffed.

"Let me guess… Weasley?" Draco muttered, smirking at the crying girl.

"I said shove off!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Ooo. I'll take that as a yes. Little Miss Granger is a tad ticked off, isn't she?"

"Malfoy, so help me, if you don't leave in the next five seconds, I'll hex your arse off!"

"Violent one, aren't you, Granger? I always knew you stared at my arse."

Hermione stood up, and pushed past Draco. She ran, but Draco was having too much _fun. _He followed her with ease, smirking.

"Leave me alone!" Hermione exclaimed.

"No." Draco muttered, smirking.

Hermione dropped to the floor and buried her head in her hands. "Fine."

Draco watched her. She was already so broken. "What did he do?"

Hermione continued to cry.

"Muddy, tell me what he did."

A wail traveled down the hall.

"Bloody Baron, Granger!" Malfoy hissed, putting his hand over her mouth. "People are going to think _I_ did this to you."

Hermione huffed, yanking his hand off her mouth.

"Hermione!" A voice called out.

Hermione looked up, shocked. "Ron?" She whispered. Her expression went from sad to angry, and she looked over to Malfoy, who leaned against the wall, getting ready to watch the show. If only he had popcorn!

* * *

><p>Ronald Weasley turned the corner, his eyes searching for the dolled-up girl. He really needed to apologize. He looked down. A couple was snogging on the floor.<p>

"Oi! Get a room, would ya?" He exclaimed.

The female looked up.

"HERMIONE!" Ron exclaimed. His eyes widened, as he looked at the boy. "MALFOY?"

Hermione got up off of the blond Slytherin. His eyes were wide as saucers as he stared at Hermione.

"Don't you know, Ronald, it's _rude_ to interrupt!" Hermione exclaimed.

Ron felt like screaming. He opened his mouth, then shut it. He turned around and walked away.

Hermione turned to Draco. "Sorry about that." She muttered.

Draco shrugged. "Just do it again," he muttered, grabbing her and kissing her once more.


	28. TO THE FERRET MOBILE

**A/N: I wrote this chapter in 1 minute. =P You WILL get confused!**

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><p>"MRS. GRANGER! ARE YOU PASSING NOTES IN MY CLASS?"<p>

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"STOP IN THE NAME OF DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!"

"whaaaaa?"

"Just who do you think you are?"

"I am... the incredible... undescrible... beautiful... amazing, bouncing FERRET! AND I HAVE COME TO RESCUE THE BEAVER!"

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A BEAVER?"

"SHUT-UP, BEAVER!"

"Wait... ferret? NOOOOO!"

"YES!"

"What?"

"YA!"

"CHEESE!"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"SHUT UP! Beaver, come with me so that you may not have to be in this class with our terribly dressed professor who does not know what the term 'shampoo' means."

"Okay."

"WAIT!"

"WHAT NOW! DIDN'T YOU READ THE FREAKIN' SCRIPT? HERMIONE COMES RUNNING OFF INTO THE SUNSET WITH ME WHILE YOU GO BEHIND YOUR DESK AND CRY LIKE A WIMP!"

"_Hurtful..."_

"TO THE FERRET MOBILE!"


	29. Head Duties 2

**A/N: Hey, guys. Will you please do me a favor? Can you please vote on this poll on my profile and/or read my story, **_Let's Fall In Love_**. It's a really quick one-shot and will only take about 1 minutes to read. PLEASE? **

**Ha, it's okay if you don't but if you have time, please do. Now... ONTO THE STORY!**

* * *

><p><strong>Friday ; 9:30 P.M.<strong>

Hermione is scary. Really scary. She wants to break into Snape's office tonight during rounds. What kind of idiot does that? Everyone knows that you only go to Snape's office when invited!

I'm not going. There is no way that she can convince me to go.

NO WAY WILL I GO TO SNAPE'S OFFICE!

**9:34 P.M.**

We're in front of Snape's office. Hermione is picking the lock, Muggle style. I'm not even going to tell her I have a key.

**9:35 P.M.**

I told her.

**9:37 P.M.**

"GIVE ME THE KEY!"

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"GIVE IT OR I'LL CRUCIO YOU!"

"NEVER! I AM A FREE MAN, GRANGER!"

**9:40 P.M.**

She has my key.

**9:41 P.M.**

She's opening the door...

**9:56 P.M.**

MY EYES! OH MY GAWD! MY EYES! HOLY MOTHER LOAD! I NEED TO DIE! SOMEONE KILL ME. I CAN'T LIVE WITH THIS FLIPPIN' MEMORY! OH LORD, MY FREAKIN' EYES!

**10:30 P.M.**

So, Hermione and I just exited the infirmery. I suppose you want to know what we saw.

Well, we saw Snape.

Dancing.

in his underwear.

to Katy Perry.

And that's not even the worst part!

HE WAS DANCING WITH PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!

I don't think I'll ever be sane again.

**10:40 P.M.**

Hermione brought me Cheetos. I could kiss her, but I won't. Ya know, because that would be awkward.

**10:45 P.M.**

A random Hippogriff just walked by. In fact, it looks a lot like Buckbeak...

**10:46 P.M**

"GRANGERRRRRRR!"

"IT WASN'T HIM!"

"MY _BUTT_ IT WASN'T HIM!"

**11:00 p.m.**

BAD NEWS! Buckbeak has rabies!

**11:29 P.M.**

I really need to potty...

**11:40 P.M.**

"You know, Draco, Hufflepuffs are actually very smart."

"WHAT THE _HELL_ IS A HUFFLEPUFF?"

**11:50 P.M.**

"What your favorite color, Malfoy?"

"Draco Malfoy."

"That doesn't make sense."

"YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE!"

**12:00 A.M.**

Granger is up to something... I can feel it in my guts.

**12:09 A.M.**

MY MUDBLOOD SENSES ARE TINGLING!

**12:30 A.M.**

"I hate you, Draco."

"Not as much as I hate you."

"You know what, Malfoy?"

"What?"

"YOU'RE SUCH A MUDBLOOD!"

"What?"

"YOU'RE SUCH A MUDBLOOD!"

"How in Merlin's name am I a mudblood?"

"Don't ask me stupid questions. YOU KNOW!"

**12:41 A.M.**

I still don't know why she called me a Mudblood...

**12:47 A.M.**

"Do you seriously not know why?"

"No. I don't."

"GOOD!"

**12:56 A.M.**

"YOU KNOW WHAT, DRACO? GO TO HE-"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Heaven."

**1:00 A.M.**

Awwwwww, I just turned Hermione into a beaver. She looks kinda cute...

**1:08 A.M.**

NO! I'M A FERRET! I'm a freakin' ferret!

**1:17 A.M.**

I HAVE TO POTTY AGAIN!

**1:30 A.M.**

I'm no longer a ferret. ya!

**1:32 A.M.**

Okay, that was so wierd. Their was this random cat eyeballing me and Granger. Jokingly, I hissed at it. I assume I must have cussed at it in cat language or something because it lunged at us and tried to pry our faces off. Luckily, we made it to a storage closet where we are now hiding.

**1:34 A.M.**

This closet is dark...

**1:35 A.M.**

...I'm scared of the dark.

**1:39 A.M.**

"GET ME OUT OF HEREEEE! THE WALLS! THEY'RE CLOSING INNNNNNN!"

**1:40 A.M.**

Granger's opening the closet door...

HOLY SNAPE LOAD!

THERE'S THE CAT...

waiting for us...

_smiling_ at us...

**1:41 A.M.**

Do cats even smile?

**1:50 A.M.**

No.

**2:00 A.M.**

"HURRRY! THE CAT'S COMMMMMMING TO EATTTT US ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

"SHUT UP!"

"WHAAAAAA!"

**3:00 A.M.**

We're still running...

**3:01 A.M.**

*Dies from exhaustion*

"DRACO! GET YOUR ARSE UP!"

"FIVE MORE MINUTES!"

"FINE! DIE IF YOU WANT TO!"

"WHAAA!"

**3:24 A.M.**

Okay, it turns out that the cat was actually just Professor McGonagall trying to tell us to go down to Snape's office.

_We've been caught._

**3:30 A.M.**

"I'M INNOCENT! I SWEARRRRRRRR! GRANGER WAS PRESSURING ME!"

"TO DO WHAT!"

"IT!"

"IT?"

"IT!"

"**OMG**!"

"NOT THAT 'IT'!"

"oh."

**4:00 A.M.**

I'm beginning to think that I have some serious bladder problems. I have to pee AGAIN!"

**4:01 A.M.**

WHOAAAAAAAA! I JUST SAW PETER PAN!

**4:02 A.M.**

JOKING!

**4:03 A.M.**

Not really.

**4:04 A.M.**

Okay, I'm gunna go now...

BYE!


	30. Purity

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews! Can you believe this is NUMBER THIRTY? Awesome. =D**

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><p>He hated her.<p>

He would ALWAYS hate her.

She was Harry Potter's bestfriend.

But despite his hate, he knew he would be there for her. Despite all the stupid dramatzing spats and disagreements, he would always come for her when she needed him. _No one_ but her.

He couldn't explain it, but he wanted to _fight_ for her. Sure, he wanted to fight her battles, but he wanted to fight for _her. ALL OF HER._ He wanted her to be his, and only his.

And it was strange, because he would give anything for her. His magic, his purity, his _life._ He didn't want to, but he know he would. He would die for the bushy-haired freak.

_And he had no __**freakin'**__ idea why._

No matter how many times he called her Mudblood, no matter how many times he insulted her friends, he couldn't deny the _feelings _he felt for her.

They were persistent little suckers. Once he realized he had them, they wouldn't leave him alone. Her words echoed in his dreams and her face filled the voids in his mind. He _liked_ her.

How freakin' STUPID!

She was a MUDBLOOD!

But despite that, Draco found at times that he just wanted to call her out in the middle of the Great Hall, stand on a chair and _shout_ his feeling. He wanted to rush over to her in the middle of the corriders, grab her face in his hands and kiss those damn lips of hers. He wanted to hug her and not give a crap about who was looking.

He didn't want her to leave him.

He didn't want her to hunt for Horcruxes.

All he freakin' wanted was her to be safe.

Hell, let's not lie.

All he freakin' wanted was _her_.

He remembered the first time he saw her. It was the sorting, of course. Gryffindor was shouted and she jumped up so happy he thought she would burst.

From then on, the looks she gave him were glares. Pure glares.

Except... _once_.

**Once upon a time.**

He was in the Muggle world. He was only thirteen at the time, and he came across Hermione Granger getting picked on by a group of girls.

He raised his eyebrows. Hermione Granger? Since when does she let people push _her _around?

He tapped the girls on the shoulder and asked just what the _hell_ they were doing. They became flustered, blushing at the handsome boy.

He glared at them and grabbed Hermione, whisking her off to some kind of wonderland.

Then she smiled at him.

That's when it happened.

That's when it all began.

But then she forgot about it as soon as Saint Potter and Weasley came into the picture.

She didn't smile at him like she did before.

She didn't smile at him at all.

And yet, he _still_ liked her.

Pathetic, isn't it?

That's when the magic started...

That's when she began to look at him again. She would smile at him in the corriders, and he smiled _back._ Why? Because he _wanted _to.

He ALWAYS wanted to smile at her.

Then, he was kissing her.

It was right after Dumbledore died. He caught her in the midst of people. She screamed, but he covered her mouth and carried her away. Then the sky cried. Then he kissed her.

Then he ran away.

But she ran _after_ him.

So he told her.

_Everything_.

Every freakin' detail. And she sat and listened, her hair glistening with raindrops.

Then she hugged him, and Draco never felt more alive than in that moment.

And it was all just so _beautiful_. Because she stayed with him through it all.

That's when he knew.

He _loved _her.

And suddenly... purity didn't matter anymore.


	31. Potions

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry for not updating in such a long time. I've been busy. This chapter isn't exactally a comedy, but it's not a drama either. I hope you enjoy! PLEASE VOTE ON MY NEW POLL!**

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><p><strong>(Draco's P.O.V)<strong>

I hate Potions. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

Not really. It's just this particular day that I'm not too fond of it. I'm partners with Weasley. He keeps suggesting we add more unicorn hair, so I keep suggesting we shove his head in the potion. We'd get the same results.

"Pass me the fairy wing." I muttered, holding a hand out.

"Get it yourself." Weasley muttered, picking at his fingernails. He really should cut those. They're quite nasty.

"You're supposed to be helping, Weasley." I muttered.

He growled, but passed me a fairy wing. I find it quite rude that we just pluck fairy wings from fairy's backs. What about the fairies. How do _they_ feel?

Good god, I sound like Granger!

Speaking of Granger...

"Ronald, sit up. It isn't good to slouch."

"Yes, 'Mione." Weasley said, sitting up straight, smiling at his friend.

Barf.

"SNAPE! GRANGER ISN'T DOING HER WORK!" I exclaimed.

"10 points from Gryffindor." Snape muttered, not even looking up.

I smirked. I feel a bit better.

"You foul toad." Granger hissed in my ear.

My smirk widened.

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing!"

Suddenly, a loud crash sounded from somewhere in the distance.

* * *

><p><strong>(Normal P.O.V)<strong>

"AHHHHHH! IT'S VOLDEMORT!" Snape cried, dunking behind his desk.

"_Pansy_." Draco muttered.

Pansy popped up. "YES, DRACO? HAVE YOU FINALLY REALIZED WE BELONG TOGETHER?"

"Um, no. I was calling Snape a pansy." Draco said.

Pansy frowned, and jumped out the window.

"Uh... bye." Draco said.

Hermione glared at him, and looked out the window. "She landed in the lake... she's okay." She said.

"DAMMIT!" Blaise exclaimed.

"Calm down." Ron said.

"NO! I WON'T CALM DOWN! I THOUGHT SHE WAS FINALLY GONE AND SHE'S STILL ALIVE? THIS FREAKIN' SUCKS! IT'S A FREAKIN' PAIN IN THE-"

"Draco Malfoy?" A voice said, interrupting Blaise's temper-tantrum.

"Uh... yah?" Draco said, looking around.

"To your left." the voice said. Draco looked to his left. "No, your other left."

Draco looked correctly. There, sitting on his desk, was a tiny, beautiful fairy.

"What the hell?" Draco asked.

"I have come to grant you three wishes!" The fairy exclaimed.

"Why?" Draco asked.

"You were conscerned for us fairy folk earlier today. This is your reward!" She exclaimed. "My name is Annabell."

Draco rose an eyebrow. "Uh... okay." He said.

Annabell smiled, floating up in the air, and settling on Draco's shoulder. "What's your first wish?" She asked, smiling.

"Um... that fairies will stop having to get their wings plucked from their backs." He said.

A collective gasp was heard around the classroom. _Draco Malfoy_? Wishing to help... _others?_

Annabell nodded, and in a blink, it was done.

Hermione stood up. "WISH FOR THE ELVES!"

Draco rolled his eyes. Annabell giggled.

"My second wish is for... me to be even more handsome!" Draco exclaimed.

Annabell nodded, but then shook her head. "Sorry. That's impossible. You're actually too handsome right now. It's not possible for you to become more handsome."

Draco smirked. Then it dropped, he whispered, "Okay... I wish for my mother to not be sent to Azkaban."

Annabell nodded, a smile on her face, and her eyes shining. "Next wish?"

"Can I see my future?"

"Wouldn't you rather be suprised?"

"Not really."

Annabell smiled, and Draco felt himself being pulled from the ground and into his own mind.

* * *

><p>Draco stood inside a white church. He could see himself, smiling, at the front of the church, looking down at the church doors. Draco went to stand next to his future self, Annabell sitting on his head, watching in amusement. A beautiful girl entered the church, and Future Draco's eyes lit up, taking in her every inch, his lips curling even more upward.<p>

Draco's jaw dropped. "GRANGER?"

Hermione's father, took off her veil and kissed her cheeck, before placing her hand in Future Draco's, in the position of the Unbreakable Vow. Draco screamed, rushing forward, determined to break the two's hands apart.

"Do you, Hermione Jean Granger, take Draco Lucius Malfoy, as your husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" Draco karate chopped the two's hands.

Hermione smiled, saying, "I do."

A string of fire wrapped itself around Future Hermione and Future Draco's hands.

Draco was furious. He stepped in front of Hermione. "WHAT THE HELL, GRANGER! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? ARE YOU FREAKIN' STUPID! I'M A FREAKIN' FERRET! REMEMBER THAT? WHO'S BLOODY IDEA WAS THIS?" He yelled, but to no avail, his voice didn't reach her ears.

"Do you, Draco Lucius Malfoy, take Hermione Jean Granger, as your wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

"Hell yes!" Future Draco said. Laughs echoed off the church's walls.

"HELL NO!" Draco cried, whacking the couple's wrists again.

Another string of fire encircled their wrists. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Draco exclaimed, covering his head in shame.

"You are forever bond to one another... you may kiss the bride." the pastor said. Future Hermione and Future Draco kissed, much to Draco's dismay. He tried to pry their lips away from the other's, but his hands passed right through them.

* * *

><p>Draco felt a strange sensation as he was yanked from the wedding scene and into a hospital. Hermione was sitting in her bed, a baby in hand, while Draco was crying with joy to the side.<p>

Another scene unfolded before him and Draco saw himself waving goodbye to a little blond-haired boy, Hermione by his side, from Platform 9 3/4.

Yet, another scene and Draco saw himself running around the kitchen, squirting Hermione with ketchup, while she sprayed him with mustard.

Scene after scene, Draco yelled, "NOOOOOOOO! THIS IS FREAKIN' HELL!"

* * *

><p>Draco was back, standing before his fellow classmates. They stared at him with wide eyes.<p>

Annabell was laughing. "I was just kidding! I can't show you your future. You haven't made it yet! Now, what's your final wish?" She asked, smiling.

Draco looked at Hermione. "_Exactally that_." He whispered.


	32. Granger Danger

**A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the reviews! I know I haven't updated a lot, but where I live, we have been having LOTS of earthquakes so I've sorta been busy. Anyway, this chapter may scar you... You have been warned. **

**P.s. PLEASE VOTE ON MY POLL! ONLY 2 PEOPLE HAVE SO FAR!**

* * *

><p>Hermione opened her Potions book and settled down in her favorite spot at the library. Not even five seconds later did she hear someone calling her name.<p>

"_Graaaaaaangerrrrrrr..."_

"Hello?" Hermione called. After recieving no response, she shrugged and turned back to her book.

"_GRANGERRRRRRRR..."_

Hermione looked around, her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"GRANGERRRR! GET UP OFF YOUR LAZY ARSE!"

Hermione was frantic now, looking around like a mad woman.

"And... DANCE!"

Out of nowhere, fifty Slytherins jumped out and began to do the dougie, Draco Malfoy being the leader.

Then, they stopped and formed a long line.

"THIS COULD MEAN DANGERRRRRRR! I'M FALLING IN LOVE, FALLING IN LOVE!" Draco sang, as they all did flips and stunts. Draco flipped forward and landed in Hermione's lap.

"With Hermione Granger... DANGER!"


	33. To Hell and Back

**A/N: Hey guys for the late update. I meant to post this yesterday, and I did, but I accidently took it down too. So... I'M SORRY! Anyway, here it is now. I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Dear Hermione,<p>

Dumbledore is making me write an apology letter, but I don't really feel sorry. My mother told me to be honest, so that's exactally what I'm doing. Being honest, I mean.

So no, I won't apologize for- as dumbledore puts it- _"physically attacking you with my lips." _

It's not like it was my fault anyway. You just look so pretty when you're mad. And you're just damn beautifulin the rain. I mean, your clothes were soaked, your hair was damp, and you looked like you had been to hell and back.

Can u really blame me for kissing you?

No, you can't.

I don't think anyone could've walked away from such perfection. Not even Voldemort. When you looked me in the eye... It's almost like you whacked me with a bat! All the air in my lungs was GONE!

That's kind of rude. Maybe YOU should write an apology letter to ME! Anyway...

Love,

Draco


	34. NEVER

**A/N: Okay, lots of you asked for a reply letter, so here it is! I had to hurry, so sorry for grammer mistakes. =P They're bound to happen to everyone at some point in our lives... Also, who got into Pottermore? I did, and I'm currently running round it, having a BLAST!**

* * *

><p>Dear Draco,<p>

You're an out-right git, you know that? How dare you suggest that _I_ apoligize! **YOU **kissed _ME!_

It wasn't even that good of a kiss! Well... maybe it was a little good.

NO!

It was pathetic. That's what is was, _pathetic._ P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.

Bet that hurt, didn't it?

Okay, I can't lie... It was really amazing. Ron's furious. He keeps threatening to kill you.

So is Harry...

and Neville...

and Ginny...

and George...

and Fred...

and pretty much all of Hogwarts! Except Luna, of course. She says that she always knew it would happen, that the Nargles told her...

Wierd.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I will not apoligize...

**NEVER!**

Love,

Hermione


	35. Author's Note

**A/N:**

**Dear Anonymous, **

**I know your review wasn't a flame. I do, but seriously. PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE! I have stated numerous times that this story is for MY benefit. It is what I do to make me feel better when I feel down. I write stupid, not-even-funny stories. They're completely random one-shots, they don't make sense and are just plain idiotic. I understand that you may not like this. I'm okay with that. A LOT of people won't like this. It's really stupid, but that's okay, because I enjoy writing it. I write because it makes me happy, and if it makes other happy too, well, that's a bonus! =D Thanks for the review. **

**Love,**

**xXGoldie12Xx**

**Now, to the rest of you all, this chapter doesn't have a story, its just a note. Sorry if I got your hopes up. I really wanted to respond to that note quickly though! Now, onto buisness. LOTS of you voted on the poll on my profile, and for that I thank-you. If you haven't voted, PLEASE DO! Also, if you like making promo pictures or whatever you call them, MESSAGE ME! I really want a poster promo thingy for at least one of my stories! **

**As to Pottermore... I'M A GRYFFINDOR! It really shocked me... I thought I would be in Hufflepuff... =P Anyway, I got in during that one week thingy. I think everyone else has to wait till October to get an account because Pottermore is still in the Beta stage. **

**Next, I'd like to talk about another story! I've been PM'd a lot about writing more for the Snape's Wrinkles Saga and the Head Duties saga. Would anyone else like it if I did that? If so... COMMENT!**

**That's all I have to say... I'll update soon. **


	36. Always

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I got some people offering to make banners! So far, one person has already sent me two! THANKS! I'll post the link on my profile soon! Now, for this chapter, it's more of a romantic chapter rather than humor. ENJOY!**

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><p>"Whoa... Look at Granger!" Blaise Zambini exclaimed, pointing toward the door. Heads swivled in the direction of Viktor Krum and Hermione Granger. What<em> happened<em>? Since when did _she_ get pretty?

"She's beautiful!" Blaise exclaimed.

Beside him, Draco shook his head. "She looks the same as always, Blaise. You've had too much punch."

"Draco, mate, she looks like a freakin' super model. Look at her!" He exclaimed, as him, and every other student attending Hogwarts, turned to stare at the brown eyed beauty.

"She looks the same to me." Draco said.

"You're in denial!" Blaise exclaimed. "Everyone, even us Slytherins, can see it!"

"No, Blaise, I'm being serious. She looks like she always has." Draco muttered, standing up and walking away.

And that was the truth. Draco really did believe she looked the same.

He danced with Pansy, but she soon ran off crying after Draco 'slipped' that he thought she looked like a pug. He walked out of the Yule Ball, his jacket slung over his shoulder, and walked right into a certain beauty sitting on the staircase. She looked up, tear-filled eyes, and said, "Oh! Malfoy... um." She began before a new set of tears falled freely from her face.

"Granger... are you okay?" Draco asked.

Hermione looked up, her eyes wide and watery. "Malfoy... what do you think of me? My looks, I mean, tonight." She asked so quietly, Draco wasn't quite suer if he had heard her correctly.

"I think you look the same as you always do." Draco said, dropping down beside her, leaning against the step behind them.

Hermione burst into tears. "I thought- I thought Ronald thought- I m-mea-"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Granger." He interrupted. "I said you look the same as you always do. What's so bad about that?"

"Well, I'm ugly." Hermione said as if it were the simpilest thing in the world.

"Granger... I said you look that same as you always do because you look the same as you always do. You don't look ugly. You look beautiful. _Always._ With your bushy hair... and skinny arms. You're beautiful. I don't need to see you at the Yule Ball, in a pretty dress, and make-up on to know that. I _always_ knew that." Draco said. "As for Weasley. He couldn't see true beauty if it was dangling in front of his face."

"So... when I'm in my school robes, my hair is bushy, my face is pale and disgusting, _you _think I'm beautiful." Hermione asked.

"Yes." Draco said, smiling a bit.

So, what did out dear beauty do then? She did what any girl would do if Draco Malfoy called them beautiful... she kissed him.

Why?

Because for once in her life, someone made her feel _better_ than beautiful. They made her feel loved.


	37. Innocent

**A/n: Okay guys, sorry for the late update. This one isn't funny, but oh well. ALSO, does ANYONE know of any Draco/Hermione stories that take place AFTER Hogwarts. Perhaps where they work together and are flirty. I know, I'm such a dork, but I want to read one! Please suggest GOOD ones... THANKS!**

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><p>Dear the Ministry,<p>

I don't know what made me see it.

Perhaps it was the way he was so sickly pale. Perhaps it was how he never insulted me, nor even glanced my way.

He was going through hell... that much was evident.

I don't know when I began to care either. Maybe it was when I found him in Moaning Mertile's bathroom so... _broken._

He confessed.

I yelled.

He cried.

I comforted him.

He ran.

I chased him down and forgave him.

He didn't do anything wrong. I promise you that. He doesn't deserve Azkaban for the cruel mark on his arm that was more than anything forced upon him.

How was he supposed to see the light when there wasn't one?

When your sixteen, you are _still_ growing up! Who he is, is **not** what he did.

Every single one of us made wrong choices during the war... why judge him so harshly for his? Today is never to late to be brand new.

He is** STILL **an _innocent_, no matter what you say.

Please excuse his charges, or I will do it myself.

Sincerely,

Hermione Granger


	38. There Was Always Something

**A/n: Okay another letter. It isn't funny. Sorry. THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! Also, I've updated my poll! GO VOTE ON IT! I'VE ADDED NEW CHOICES AND TAKEN SOME AWAY!**

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><p><em>Dear Hermione,<em>

_It's about time I answered your last owl..._

_I feel silly writing this, like a love struck fool. Somehow, my conversation with Scorpious today leaded to you. He told me that he knew I still loved you, and that it was okay._

_Is it though? Is it really okay?_

_We never even dated, Hermione. We never held hands. We never hugged. We never kissed._

_And yet I love you._

_We treated each other like shit at Hogwarts. We were young. We were foolish. I dare-say we were out of our minds... but there was always something there, wasn't there?_

_Merlin knows how many glances we've stolen, how many smiles we fought so hard to hide..._

_The last time I saw you was at Hogsmeade. You had published your first book, and you were doing a book signing._

_I swear to God, I went home and cried._

_I've never cried till I cried over you._

_So... I guess what I'm trying to say is,_

_I love you._

_I always have. I never stopped._

_Love,_

_Draco Malfoy_

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><p><em>Dear Draco, <em>

_If that was a marriage proposal, then I accept._

_Love,_

_Hermione_


	39. Pfffft

**A/n: Okay another letter. WHOOP, WHOOP!**

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><p>Dear Mother,<p>

Why must all Slytherins be so dumb? I swear, we act like bloody fools around Ravenclaws. At least we're smarter than those dumbo Gryffindors. Well, except Granger. She makes Dumbledore look like a dumb-ass.

Blaise keeps nudging me. Honestly, how many times do I have to tell this boy: EAT SOME MEAT!

His elbows are so BONY!

Why am I even talking about this? I better tell you what's important, not about Blaise's stupid, bony elbows.

Dumbledore announced last night that there will be a tournament. Three students will be chosen to compete, but you already knew that. You're a sponser I hear. Why does nobody tell me these things?

Anyway, I know that "fate" chooses the players, but I'm willing to bet my allowence that Potter is chosen. He always winds up getting pulled into crap like that. It makes me almost sorry for the bloke.

Almost.

Apprantly, names will be drawn from some dumb cup.

Hmph, _original_.

I hear it's dangerous. Don't we all got enough danger?

More information on that will come later, though, but you'll hear about it before me I assume.

Oh ya! I stole Hermione Granger's diary from her. I know you don't like me tormenting muggleborns, but it's not because she's a muggleborn. It's because I just don't like her.

That makes it better, doesn't it?

Okay, maybe it doesn't. Maybe I like her a bit.

Ew! I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY! I meant...

I actually don't know what the hell I meant...

Would you disown me if I did like her? NOT THAT I DO!

This letter is freakin' retarted. I'm just going to end it here. It's not like I kissed Hermione in the library when no one was looking and that's why I'm so caught up on this subject!

PFFT, THAT SO DID NOT HAPPEN!

Sincerely,

Draco

P.s. Reply soon. And send some candy. =) Love you, mother.


	40. Patronus

**A/n: Okay another chapter. WHOOP, WHOOP! I'm really sorry about the long wait. Also, HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS A LOT OF REVIEWS! THANKS SOOOOOOO MUCH! This is more of a fluffy chapter. SORRY FOR THE WAIT, AND ENJOY!**

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><p>Draco sat across from his seven year-old son at the dinner table. They had gathered previous news papers and magizines, lined them up on the table, and began to cut pieces out about Scorpious's birth. The Daily Prophet had gone haywire with the news, printing article after article about the Malfoy heir. Now, years later, Scorpious was seven. His mother had died in a Muggle accident, but Scorpious had always felt that she was around somewhere in his heart.<p>

Scorpious picked up a random magizine. "Harry Potter's Potronous..."

His father scoffed. Scorpious giggled, and flipped through the magizine. "What was mommy's patronous?" Scorpious asked.

"A horse." Draco said, cutting out an article out of the Quibbler.

"What's yours?" Scorpious asked.

"An otter."

Scorpious made an ugly face. "_Why_?" He asked.

"I'm not sure, Scorp. I'm not really sure." Draco said, eyes concentrated on his artwork as he glued the article to a new scrapbook page.

Scorpious's nose scrunched up in confusion. He crossed his arms. "I think someone else has that patronous..."

"Who?" Draco asked absentmindly.

"HERMIONE GRANGER!" Scorpious exclaimed.

His father remained cool... calm... collected. "How odd." He said.

"Why do you both have the same patronous?" His son asked, forgetting about the papers and scrapbook pages.

"There's only so many animals in the world, Scorpious." Draco said, smiling at the boy.

"Did you love mommy?" Scorpious asked.

"Of course I did." Draco said, smiling at his son.

"That's good..."

Draco laughed and shook his head at his son.

"Do you love her?"

"Who?"

"Hermione Granger."

Draco stopped his work and looked at his son. Scorpious smiled at his father. "It's okay if you do."

"Ya, mate, some part of me always has loved her... Pathetic, aren't I?" Draco said.

His son shook his head. "I may be young, daddy, but I'm not stupid. You never get over your true love... it's a Hogwarts thing."

"What?" Draco asked, looking at the boy directly in the eyes now.

"A Hogwarts thing... I'm starting to think it's cursed. Because Snape, the Slytherin, loved Lilly, the Gryffindor and Muggleborn, yet he let her go, but never got over her. Remember, you told me about that. You loved Hermione, let her go, yet you love her . I hope it doesn't happen to _me._"

"What the hell?" Draco asked. "You're supposed to seven!"

Scorpious giggled. "I am. I'm just very smart, Daddy."

Draco shook his head. "I know... just like her."

Scorpious smiled at his father. "You know, for what it's worth... I think she loves you too."

His father allowed a small smile to play across his lips.

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><p>Draco laid his son down in his bed, tucked him in, and exited the room, turning off the light.<p>

He grabbed a single piece of parchment and sat down at the kitchen table, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I love you._

_I always have and I never stopped._

_Love,_

_Draco Malfoy_


	41. FOOOOOL

**A/N: So, I took a really long break... I know I know. SORRY! I'm not sure if I should continue with this though. Should I?**

Draco took a bite of his green, juicy apple. He mindlessly wrote his Transfiguration essay, twirling the now bitten apple around in his hand.

He glanced up to see Harry Potter standing in front of him. "What do you want, Potter?" Draco asked bitterly.

In his head, Draco wondered why he hated Harry. The boy had saved the world twice!

Oh yah.

Now Draco remembered.

It was because Harry didn't want to be his friend in first year.

Hmpph, odd.

"You have Ginny in your next hour, right?" the boy-who-lived asked, ignoring Draco's harsh tone.

"Wealette? Ya, why? Scared I'll steal your girlfriend?" Draco asked, smirking.

Harry growled. "No, Malfoy. She's not even my girlfriend. I just need you to give her this note."

"Can I read the note?"

"No!"

"Well then!" Draco said dramatically, throwing his apple at Harry's head.

Harry grabbed the apple off the floor. "Did you just throw an apple at me?"

"No, I threw a cupcake."

"What?"

"What?"

"Malfoy, you not making any sense."

"YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE, FOOOOL!"

Harry shook his head and walked away.

"That's right, RUUUUUN!" Draco exclaimed. Harry threw a book at him in response, then continued on his way.

As soon as he was far enough away, Draco opened the note. Hermione Granger came running around the corner. "YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO READ IT, MALFOY!"

Draco ignored her, reading the note. He looked up and tore the note. Hermione gasped and he shrugged. "I'm doing Potter a favor, actually. That note was pitiful. Why would Weasley like him back if he wrote to her in a bloody NOTE?"

"It's romantic!"

"Ya, a note that I can barely read is romantic." Draco said sarcastically. "You shouldn't tell a girl you like them, you need to show her."

"Show her?"

Draco nodded, standing up. "Yes."

"And how exactally would he do that, Malfoy."

Draco just smirked, grabbing her face and kissing her briefly on the lips. "That's how."

Hermione's eyes were wide. "YOU BETTER RUN FOOOOOOL!"


End file.
